Did you know that humans are the only animals on the planet who have lost the ability to navigate stress successfully? When something in our lives triggers us, we repress it deep inside us because the places where we normally would release stress have been buried alongside our ancestors. We’ve lost our innate ability to naturally release stress brought on by our fears – a skill that other animals instinctually have. And there is one major limiting factor at the center of it all: the illusions we have about fear.
Fear is at the core of how our nervous systems decipher between real tigers (imminent threat) and paper tigers (the illusion of fear). In my book, The Paper Tiger Syndrome: How to Liberate Yourself from the Illusion of Fear, I share how the answers to liberating yourself from fear are inside you—specifically in the nervous system.
Self-regulation is the key. To achieve it, we need to first know what our unique “Window of Resilience” looks like—the space in which we are balanced and able to adapt to new situations, dissipate stress, and think and feel simultaneously. Simply put: to stay present to what’s at hand as opposed to getting anxious, reactive, angry, shut down, numb out, or feeling disconnected.
The good news is, there are a lot of great tools in my book and elsewhere to help you discover how to better navigate fear and stress. Here are the three most basic steps to alleviating stress and fear:
- Slow down your speech
- Breathe deeply
- Notice the sensation in your body
If you can feel a sensation in your body, you are present. It’s that simple. Taking these three steps will help you make more sense of a situation as it is happening, rather than be hijacked by fear and enter a survival reaction that is not needed or helpful. With a little time and help, we can re-train our systems to differentiate between perceived and real threats.
Still not sure if fear is running your life? Take my Illusion of Fear Quiz also found on my website: IrisInstitute.com and find out.
For more information on regulating your nervous system to manage fear, check out my book: The Paper Tiger Syndrome: How to Liberate Yourself from the Illusion of Fear found on Amazon and all other major booksellers.
Stay true to you,
Xo,
Rebecca A. Ward, LMFT, SEP, PCC
Founder, the Iris Institute
Published Author | Licensed Therapist | Executive Coach